Category Archives: Family Issues

5 Reasons Children Leave

Church, Family Issues,

Children are leaving Jesus. Young adults are leaving Jesus. They say they are leaving the church or organized religion but the hard truth is that they are leaving Jesus. The church belongs to Jesus:

“And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” – Matthew 16:18

He said, “I will build my church” (emphasis mine – jbe). When someone leaves the church they leave what Jesus built. But they also leave the very thing Jesus loved so much that he died for it:

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” – Ephesians 5:25

We understand that the church is not brick and mortar but flesh and blood. It is an assembly of people who come together for Jesus’ work. When you leave the church you leave people. To be honest, some assemblies make life hard for young people and they fail profoundly in their mission. Some are self-centered and seek to be entertained by professional and semi-professional people. Others are as dead as firewood in January, Jesus warned that some assemblies would be cast out of his presence for their faithlessness and apathy (Revelation chapters 2 & 3). Churches have problems that must be fixed. But that is another article.

For now, let’s think about the ones who quit.

Children Leave the Church Because of Parents

This may be the hardest truth of all. We (parents) are part of the problem.

Children are a precious gift from God. It is a powerful attestation to God’s faith in his creation that he entrusts us with the most vulnerable creature to be molded and crafted into a faithful servant of his. Children are described as “heritage” and a “reward” (Psalm 127:3), a “blessing (Psalm 37:26). They are described as “olive shoots” by the psalmist in Psalm 128:3, that is, as a great blessing from the much-desired tree. Even our Lord entered the world as a child. A man with many children is like one who has a quiver full of arrows (Psalm 127:3-5). Children are an amazing gift from on high. But for all their splendor a child cannot raise himself.

You might think otherwise.

For too many children, once they can reach the bread and the peanut butter jar they are put on autopilot. They make their decisions largely independent of any parental oversight or guidance. Friends, associates, and activities are chosen by the child and at least benignly supported by mom and dad. Even so-called helicopter parents fail to guide their children into paths of righteousness. Instead, they make sure children are at little league games, band practices, and choir concerts while ignoring many opportunities to grow in Christ. It is not that these things are bad – they are not – but there is something better which parents often fail to support.

There are precious few children who can be deprived of strong parental guidance and still prosper in Christ. It is possible but uncommon. A major part of raising a child comes through the example set by parents. Few children will, at least in their early adult lives, exceed the spirituality of the parents. Let that sink in for a moment.

Children Leave the Church Because of Shallow Teaching

For those children who are blessed with parents seeking opportunities for spiritual growth, there remains another challenge: Bible teaching that lacks depth and substance. The local church must aide parents by providing sound teaching for children through the Sunday School programs and similar educational activities. Sadly, that teaching does not progress far beyond songs about Zachheus the wee little man, and good ol’ Noah. I really hate to write these words because many wonderful Bible class teachers do their best in the classroom, but they need help. Bible class is not an afterthought. It is a critical part of the spiritual development of a child. Congregations must support the teachers and the work they do.

Teaching should track what students are exposed to in the public schools. When curriculum is taught that rejects Creation, the Flood and the idea of miracles, students should be taught the truth as God has revealed it. Schools are often the enemies of truth. Repeated studies among those who leave the church point to the inability to accept Bible teachings that conflict with science. Deeper studies will demonstrate that belief in God and the supernatural nature of his work through history is rational and truthful. But if the churches are not teaching it and if the parents are silent, from whence will children learn truth? We leave them at the mercy of studies that uphold science as supreme and the Bible as myth!

Children Leave the Church Because of Demonic Deception

Satan is busy. He does not jump out of bushes and steal the souls of our youth. Instead, he works through influence and peer pressure to deliver those souls to eternal death. We see his activity in many places. Terrorism, brutal repression, famine caused by war, abortion, pedophilia, child abuse and more. It’s pretty obvious he is there causing the disturbance. But he also works quietly, so sly when tempting our youth. He is patient and able to groom our children into lost souls. We’d better take him seriously.

Paul describes a spiritual warfare in 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 with real weapons used against real fortifications. They are spiritual, not physical, but still very real. Your children are on the frontline. They will be taken captive if we do not support them. During the Gulf War, the military was rightfully rebuked for failing to provide our soldiers with adequate gear to protect them. Body armor was not adequate and vehicles had less than required hardening against explosives. It was a horrible thought that we would put our soldiers in harm’s way without supplying them with the very best equipment. We must prepare our children for the assaults coming from Satan. We are not ignorant of his tactics (2 Corinthians 2:11), we know what his plans and schemes are. We must prepare them.

Satan will never tap your child on the shoulder and say, “come with me.” But one of his followers, in the personage of your child’s best friend, will. Like the Israelites under Samuel, they will seek the world and its empty promises (1 Samuel 8:5) if they do not know better.

Satan is liar (John 8:44). The first time we meet him in Genesis 3 he is lying and he has not stopped yet. He will lie to your children!

Children Leave the Church Because They Were Never In the Church

Wow. This is a mouthful! I expect some emails about this. “Who are you to decide who is in our out of the church?” they will ask. “Don’t judge!” they will warn. The hard truth is that not all who claim t be of Jesus really are. Jesus said in Matthew 7:21-23:

“Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?  And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”

Did you catch what Jesus said? Some will claim faithfulness but are not. Some of our children may be in that crowd.  Of course, hope remains. The time to act is now. Let us teach, re-teach, and teach some more. Model the faith of Christ before them. Let them see that being a Christian is worthy of their thought and time.

Children Leave the Church Because The World Became More Important Than Jesus

When youth enter college they are bombarded with serious choices. These decisions will follow them for the rest of their life. Everything they do is focused on their future. Sometimes, the demands of the world are so intense that the things of God are crowded out. Slowly, the young person begins to pursue career at the expense of spirit.

Let me be clear, planning and preparing for the future is Biblical. But let’s keep our priorities in order.

Jesus spoke of the error of confusing the earthly and the spiritual.

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-20).

Paul reminds us:

 “But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs” (1 Timothy 6:8-10).

We must guard our children from the shady narrative of the world. Train them up as God would have us and surround them with prayer. Let us stem the tide of failing children.

 

Christian Stress Relief

Church, Church Bulletin, Family Issues, Personal Thoughts, ,

I’m thinking about family this morning; not physical family but the larger house of God. If you’ve been with us lately, we’ve talked some about being God’s people and he being our God. Those were his words through inspiration to the Patriarchs and later, to the Hebrews (Genesis 17:8; Exodus 29:49; Jeremiah 32:38; Ezekiel 37:27). Those words also echo to us from John’s report of the Revelation. Concerning our heavenly estate, the Lord declares, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.” (Revelation 21:3)

The Bible also speaks of the adopted family that belongs to the Father (Romans 8:15, 23; 9:4; Galatians 4:5; Ephesians 1:5). The church is the family of God. Our physical attributes vary widely, but we have all been granted a place in the family.

It’s precious. It’s beyond value.

So when stress arises in the family, it ought to be dealt with fairly and quickly. Grudges have no place in this house. There must be no rivalry. We share a common mission, a common foe, and a common name: Christian.

[bctt tweet=”So when stress arises in the family, it ought to be dealt with fairly and quickly. Grudges have no place in this house.” username=”Preachers_Study”]

Christian Stress Relief: Know the Facts

Tension often comes because of cloudy facts or uncertainties. We owe it to our brothers and sisters to be clear on the facts related to any possible conflict. Rumors are like a nasty cold virus; they don’t require much to spread. When questions arise about a brother we must quickly learn the true facts before ever saying a word to someone else.

A man was once publically accused of a crime. He was arrested, jailed and brought to trial. The trial proved his innocence and he was set free. But his name had been tainted. He was ruined. His comment to reporters? “Where do I go to get my life back?”

Isn’t this the heart of the Golden Rule? Would you not want someone to inquire of you before raising unfounded suspicions among others (Matthew 7:12)?

[bctt tweet=”Isn’t this the heart of the Golden Rule? Would you not want someone to inquire of you before raising unfounded suspicions among others (Matthew 7:12)?” username=”Preachers_Study”]

Christian Stress Relief: Privacy

Privacy is the by-word of our very public life. If you have any kind of online presence you are subject to having private details about your life stolen. (As I write this, Facebook is trying to cleanup after 50 million users had their information stolen). We should respect the privacy of our brothers and sisters too.

None of us are without sin (c.f. John 8:7; Romans 2:1, 22) and ought be very careful about the way we deal with other sinners. Jesus offers the perfect principle in Matthew 18:15ff: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”

“Alone” did not include others.

You did not take the rabbi, you did not take the ruler of the synagogue. You did not take a member of the Sanhedrin. You went alone. Such a singular approach protects the privacy and dignity of the brother, limits embarrassment, precludes the damage of a misunderstanding and prevents the offended brother from being publicly scorned for spreading rumors.

Family is too important to shatter over a misunderstanding. It is more than reasonable to take very step to thwart trouble among brethren.

There are times when a public approach is needed. We’ll talk about those next time. I suspect, I sure do not know, that over 90% of all family disagreements can be solved privately. We should at least try, don’t you think?

 

 

Old School: Lessons from My Daddy

Church Bulletin, Daily living, Family Issues, Personal Thoughts,

Willis Bryant Evans, born November 28, 1921, to Arthur Lee and Roselle Evans. He was the third of three boys. He enlisted in the U.S. Army Air Corps in World War II and saw action in Europe, including at D-Day and at Bastogne, Belgium and the Battle of the Bulge. Upon his return to civilian life, he attended the University of Alabama but dropped out after two years. He began a sales career that ended with a very successful time as a new car salesman for Chevrolet. His parents were among the first Christians in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He would serve the church of Christ in Northport, Alabama as a Bible class teacher and deacon until his death in 1987. He was known as Mr. Evans, Clem, Bobo and the Big Tuna. I called him daddy.

I learned much from this wise man. I’d like to share some of that with you.

Pay Attention When You Shave.

Many mornings, dad would leave for work with small pieces of toilet paper stuck to his face. He’s cut himself shaving. Pay attention to what you are doing he would warn.

Good fathers teach their children about life. Our kids haven’t been down this road before, and we have. Despite the incredible level of intelligence many children possess, they are not always wise. They need a father to help guide them through the rough spots. Jesus had an earthly father who likely taught him about life. If our Lord needed a father in his youth, our children do too.

Pay Your Bills On Time

I will never forget daddy’s spiral bound notebook. Each month had a page, and on this page, he would record every bill as it arrived. When he paid the bill, he would circle it. He could tell you how much his water bill was from five years ago. You see, we were not wealthy, but we never wanted for anything important. When I got my first car loan, it was based only on his name. They didn’t even run my credit. In fact, the banker was not even there when I showed up. He left the papers with a note telling me where to sign. Why? Because he knew my dad.

The Bible teaches us that we should always be honest people (Matthew 5:37; Proverbs 6:1-5). We manage our money; not the other way around (1 Timothy 6:6-10). Good fathers strive to teach their children important lessons.

God Always Comes First

Daddy was sick for the last few years of his life and was hospitalized some. He couldn’t attend services. But I never remember a single time daddy missed services otherwise – not one. He was a picture of commitment and devotion to his Lord. If there was a gospel meeting, we were there every night. We attended on Sunday and on Wednesday for midweek Bible study. We went because it was a time to honor God and deepen our own knowledge of his word. Plus, we knew that there was extraordinary value in fellowship with God’s people.

Daddy’s dream was for me to preach the gospel. He never saw me preach fulltime, but he made sure I was prepared. Daddy died exactly one month before my graduation with a degree in Bible, but I assure you that today, he is with me every time I step into the pulpit.

I was blessed by such a great man as the leader of my family. His is a standard I shall never reach although I try. I pray that every father reading this will consider the vital marks of a great father and pursue them relentlessly. Our sons and daughters need fathers who are fully engaged in parenting. Are you?

 

Does Christmas Seem Empty to You?

Church Bulletin, Culture, Daily living, Family Issues, Personal Thoughts, , ,

Christmas EmptyAmidst the twinkling lights, snowmen, and the aromas of a Christmas kitchen, there seems to me an expanding emptiness during the holidays. As a child in Northport, Alabama, I recall the smell of a live Christmas tree in our living room. I would lay beneath its limbs like a giant Christmas present and watch the gentle glow of the lights. Mom would call me to help with the Christmas cookies, although my “help” was probably the last thing she needed. She would let me roll out the cookie dough using an old wooden rolling pin. Then, she would carefully guide me as used the cookie cutters to make Santas, reindeer, and Christmas trees.  I remember aunts, uncles, and cousins coming to our home for a great banquet. I don’t remember the food so much as I recall the laughter and love that adorned our table. There were gifts aplenty, but they were almost the afterthought. Our main reason for shopping was to see the decorations at Woolworth’s, Sears-Roebuck. and the Buick dealership.

It’s different now. Have you noticed?

Many writers better than me have bemoaned the descent of the holidays into a commerce laden period of buying and selling. But I am thinking of something slightly different. How do you feel when you cannot meet the standard set by advertisers for the best Christmas gift? Ads run the spectrum from a Bob Ross Chia Pet to the “Cadillac you’ve always wanted.” What if you still can’t buy that Cadillac? What if you’re so broke you can’t even pay attention? Do the holidays become less important to you? They shouldn’t.

It may be that you feel empty because you do not have, nor can you obtain, enough stuff. It seems the emptiness can only be filled by purchased items.

There is hope because the Bible teaches otherwise. When Peter and John encountered a lame man at the Temple (Acts 3:1 ff), they gave him something greater than silver and gold (Acts 3:6). Money could not buy the happiness that filled him after his healing (vs. 8).

Solomon, endowed with extraordinary wealth and wisdom, tried to find happiness in possessions. His conclusions? He said, “all was vanity and a striving after the wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 2:11). The condition of a man with every possession, but unable to enjoy his wealth, is described as a “grievous evil” (Ecclesiastes 6:2). In summation, Solomon concludes that the whole duty of man is to “fear God and keep his commandments” (Ecclesiastes 12:13).

Jesus says it better in Matthew 6:33, “seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” The secret of a fulfilled and happy life is found in serving and giving to others. Jesus said, “give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you” (Luke 6:38).

Try as they might, advertisers cannot supplant Jesus as the giver of a full life. They tell us that happiness comes in a new car, diamonds, video games, and such. They knowingly produce guilt to drive us to purchase more and more stuff; none of which satisfies for long.

Jesus, however, teaches the opposite. Try Jesus’ way and shun the advertiser’s claims. Stop! Listen! What do you hear? The sound of an advertiser’s jingle or the sound of a loving family? The latter, I pray.

 

4 Game Changers for Fathers

Church Bulletin, Family Issues, ,

Fathers_day_father_with_kid_on_lakeFathering is hard work. It’s essential work. And it can be the greatest joy in life. Here are some thoughts to empower your work as a father.

Lead from the Front

In ancient times, a king would ride into battle ahead of his troops. His presence and shared hardships and dangers with his troops earned him great credibility and honor. He was the rallying point for his soldiers who would fight to the death to protect him.

Our cultural battle is just as grave. Fathers must lead their children through the battle lines of an amoral culture. We cannot lead with words alone. Fathers must be seen as committed and dedicated through their actions. We teach through words. We inspire through actions. Fathers must strive to show their devotion to God through everyday actions. Let your children see your dependence on God and your love for Jesus. Let them see you studying the Bible. Let them hear your prayers. Lead!

[bctt tweet=”Fathers must lead their children through the battle lines of an amoral culture.”]

Be Timeless

Every action you take today will resonate throughout future history. Sadly, it’s the failures that are often remembered most. Many scholars hold that Richard Nixon was an excellent President. His victory in the 1972 Presidential election was one of the biggest landslides in U.S. History. Yet, one series of events has tainted him for all history. What would Nixon have given if he could repeat those few crucial hours in the White House?

As you lead your children, remember that you are making memories. Even today, you probably remember stories, good and bad, about your father and grandfather. Your daily life is the foundation of your children’s memories. Remember the powerful words of Proverbs 22:6, “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Every action you take has the potential to form an enduring memory. How do you want to be remembered?

[bctt tweet=” Every action you take has the potential to form an enduring memory. “]

Deliver on Promises

Children are like the proverbial elephants – they remember everything. Choose promises carefully and only after considering your ability to deliver.

In an adult’s mind a promise about a weekend outing that doesn’t pan out is no big deal; it happens. But for the child who has looked forward to a getaway with a hard working dad that broken promise is huge. Don’t promise what you cannot deliver.

Quality and Quantity are Essential

A recent television commercial has a father declaring that he doesn’t get to spend much time with his children so he makes sure that every minute is quality. That’s a nice sentiment, but it doesn’t really hold water. Children need both quality and quantity of your time. [bctt tweet=”Sometimes a child just needs to know you are available.”] The world offers a false dichotomy. You can have quality or quantity but not both. How wrong!

Your job was here before you and will be here after you are gone. Don’t allow your children to pay the price for your absence. Their successes as adults will be remembered more than your advancement.

These tips will energize you, your wife and your children. Try them and you will be convinced of their importance. Your children need you more than you can imagine. Model godly parenting and you will see them reap the benefits.

Bryant Evans may be reached at bryant at bryantevans.com. You can follow Bryant on Twitter @jbevans.

 

The UnFather

1st and 2nd Samuel, Church Bulletin, Family Issues, ,

Paris_psaulter_gr139_fol136vTruly good fathers are uncommon. Most men desire to be exemplary fathers but few succeed. Despite their best attempts all fathers stumble and none are perfect. Failure happens. Hopefully our failures are not catastrophic and we find ways to recover. But failures can discourage. Sometimes a man may be tempted to throw his hands up in despair and surrender. He reasons that there is no sense in trying because he falls so often.

To give up is the greatest failure of all.

“Jehovah hath sought him a man after his own heart” – 1 Samuel 13:14

David was surely one of the great men of Scripture. Samuel speaks of him as a man after God’s own heart. He is appointed king over God’s people. He is an ancestor of Jesus and figures prominently in Peter’s sermon on Pentecost. David is even mentioned in the Hall of Fame of Faith in Hebrews 11. Surely, if anyone was going to be a great man and a perfect father it would David. You might think so but you would be mistaken.

David was the patriarch over one of the most dysfunctional families in the Bible.

Here is what we know about David:

  • He took and committed adultery with the wife of a soldier who was fighting for the nation (2 Samuel 11:3-5).
  • When he heard she was pregnant he tried to cover up his sin (2 Samuel 11:6-18).
  • When his plan failed, he arranged to have the man killed and then took his wife for his own (2 Samuel 11:26-27).
  • David had children by different wives. One of them raped his half-sister, David’s daughter (2 Samuel 13:1 ff).
  • Although David knew of the rape and was angry he did nothing (2 Samuel 13:14, 21, 23).
  • Another son sought vengeance for his sister by murdering the rapist half-brother (2 Samuel 13:23 ff).
  • David did nothing about the rape or the murder. The son fled and David did not seek after him (2 Samuel 13:37-39).
  • The murdering son eventually returns and almost seizes the kingdom from his father. He dies on the process (2 Samuel 15:1 ff, 2 Samuel 18:15).
  • As he lay dying, one of his sons conspired to gain control of the throne (1 Kings 1:5-8).

Every family has its problems but David had a mess. Wickedness ran rampant in the family and much of it can be traced directly to David’s lax fathering. Nevertheless, this is the man called a man after God’s own heart. It was also this man who fathered Solomon, the wisest man ever and the author of Proverbs. David penned the immortal Psalms as he poured his heart out to God.

Our point is simple: Fathering is not about perfection. It is about seeking God with all of your heart, acknowledging failures and moving onward. When David’s sin with Bathsheba was known, he did not try to hide his responsibility nor did he wallow in self-loathing and pity. He accepted responsibility and moved ahead (2 Samuel 12:1-25).

Fathers, you will stumble and you will fail. Each time, your reaction will determine your legacy. Do not give up. Your children need you. They need your example of dedication. The only way you fail is when you give up on them and on God.

 

 Bryant Evans may be reached at bryant at bryantevans.com. You can follow Bryant on Twitter @jbevans.

Dogs, Fleas and Friends

Culture, Daily living, Family Issues, Proverbs, Youth, ,

The saying, “If you lay down with dogs you’ll get up with fleas” is not in the Bible. But the idea is definitely Biblical. Those we associate with can help us or harm us. Consider Paul’s words:

“Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals.”

(1 Corinthians 15:33)

The wisest ever, Solomon wrote:

If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood;

let us ambush the innocent without reason;

like Sheol let us swallow them alive,

and whole, like those who go down to the pit;

we shall find all precious goods,

we shall fill our houses with plunder;

throw in your lot among us;

we will all have one purse”—

my son, do not walk in the way with them;

hold back your foot from their paths,

for their feet run to evil,

and they make haste to shed blood.

For in vain is a net spread

in the sight of any bird,

  but these men lie in wait for their own blood;

they set an ambush for their own lives.

Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain;

it takes away the life of its possessors.

(Proverbs 1:11-19)

And,

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

(Proverbs 13:20)

We are warned that our associates, our friends, make real and lasting impacts in our lives. Sadly, the more wayward the friend the worse the impact. One would hope that the one with higher values would uplift the unrighteous but it is not so. Preachers decry the dangerous union of believer and non-believer in marriages because the faithlessness of the unbeliever is so powerful. While there are certainly exceptions, the overwhelming majority of such unions end in spiritual catastrophe.

When Lot was separated from faithful Abram he moved among the wicked people of Sodom and Gomorrah. His decision to move “his tent as far as Sodom” proved horrendous and cost him his family (Genesis 13:12-13 ff).

But such damage is not limited to marriage or even to intimate relationships. Our youth should learn the danger of close associations with the unrighteous. Parents must provide direction for their children and must be prepared to prohibit some friendships. Every parent must monitor their children’s Facebook pages and any other social media which they use. Parents must, on occasion, be intrusive into the lives of their children.

A Christian can and should have relationships with unbelievers. Life will undoubtedly require some interaction with the wicked. But it is wise to say that a Christian’s closest, dearest friends ought to be other Christians.

Bryant Evans may be reached at bryant at bryantevans.com. You can follow Bryant on Twitter @jbevans

 

 

 

 

 

Legendary Fathers

Church Bulletin, Family Issues, ,

Great fathers are the stuff of legends. Today, more than ever, great fathers are rare. There are many men who bear the title but fewer and fewer are really worthy of being called a legend. At the same time, it seems that many men want to be good fathers but have never learned how. Perhaps they never had an example of a good father in their own lives. We offer some ideas that can take a common man and put him on the road to greatness.

Legendary Fathers are Godly Men

The heroic knights of old were subservient to their king. The vaunted Samurai of the ancient Japanese empires were servants to wealthy landholders and to the Emperor. Today, the very best fathers are men who serve the risen Christ constantly.

Twice, Paul said that “at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow” (Romans 14:11, Philippians 2:10). The Christian father demonstrates his loyalty to Jesus through his daily actions. He shows his love for Christ by placing his love for Him even before that of his family. There is nothing above his commitment to God (Luke 12:46; Matthew 6:33).

When a truly legendary father dies, his children will first declare that he was a “man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14). Do you wish to be a legend? Serve God first.

Legendary Fathers Invest Time in their Children

Much has been said about the difference between quality of time and quantity of time as if you cannot have both. Probably, this idea arose as an excuse for men who spend too much time on the job. The truth is that you can be a legendary father or a legendary worker but you cannot be both. Something must come first (Matthew 6:24).

Because our success in our culture is predicated upon the accumulation of wealth and tangible property, we no longer value as much the priceless accumulation of memories and shared time. What a shame. Understand, reader, wealth is nice but it is not necessary. Paul wrote,

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.  But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.  But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs (1 Timothy 6:6-10).

To invest hours in your children is far superior to investing dollars. The payout is much greater.

Become a legend to your children, Fathers. They need real heroes that can be seen, touched and talked to.

Bryant Evans may be reached at bryant at bryantevans.com. You can follow Bryant on Twitter @jbevans

 

History Making

Church Bulletin, Family Issues,

On this day in 1947, long before many of us were born, an event occurred which changed the world and which directly impacts everyone of us today.  65 years ago, researchers in Maryland brought ENIAC to life. ENIAC was the first general purpose digital computer ever created. The house-sized machine was able to be re-programmed to solve a wide range of computing problems. Today, such computing power is available in devices the size of a wrist watch and even smaller. But that event, over a half century ago, gave us the basis for all of the desktops, laptops, tablets and smart phones that are ubiquitous today. The past profoundly affects the future.

Spiritually, the events surrounding the death, burial and resurrection of our Lord must stand as the greatest historical marker of all history. God, in the  persona of Jesus Christ, gave his own life for the lives of his creatures.

But each of us has personal events which change our own future and the future of generations to come. For example, there was the day my grandfather came home and told my grandmother than he had found what they were looking for, a faith not cluttered by the doctrines and opinions of men. They soon became members of the churches of Christ, their four sons, including my father, became members and later I too was added to the body of Christ. Today my three sons are all members of the church too. That day, decades ago, is a great historical day for my family.

What is in the past is, well, in the past. We cannot change or alter those events. But we can shape the future by our decisions today.

Isaac, son of Abraham and ancestor of Jesus, lived in such a way that his children, Jacob and Esau would be blessed. The writer of Hebrews says, “…by faith, Isaac invoked future blessings on Jacob and Esau”  (Hebrews 11:20). Isaac’s faith in God, no doubt given and strengthened by Abraham, had an impact on his children.

In the Pentateuch, God repeatedly warned that children would suffer from the wrong decisions made by the fathers. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments” (Exodus 20:5-6, see also Exodus 34:7, Numbers 14:18, Deuteronomy 5:9). It is not that the children would inherit the penalty for their fathers sin (Ezekiel 18:20), but rather the children would suffer from errant teaching and godless examples. The children would be led in the paths of idolatry which was a horrid thing to the Lord God.

Every person reading these thoughts is, right now, impacting their own future but also the future of others. We choose today to craft a future that is Godly and blessed, on godless and cursed. While a prophet could foretell the future sometimes, we can change the future.

Consider these words from Hebrews 11:4 concerning the faith of Abel. It is said of him that “though he died, he still speaks.” That is true of us all. What great moment of history are you creating today? What honor will your children speak of when they remember you?

The Dangerous Prom

Culture, Daily living, Family Issues, Sin, Web sites, Youth, , , ,

Spring brings the prom. It’s the social event of the year for many young people. But hidden beneath all the fancy dresses and well groomed, tuxedo-clad men lies a dangerous truth. The prom is no place for a Christian. It’s an optional event that is fraught with danger. So much so that the term “prom babies” was coined by the students themselves who know that prom night is a time of relaxed morals.

A dear friend and former classmate of mine from Freed-Hardeman, Cindy Colley has written extensivly about the prom. Please read her latest post,Don’t Tag Me.” Cindy’s words ought to resonate with parents who attended the prom. Do we really think the prom is better than it was in our days? Read this with an open mind and seek the wisdom of God, not the ever-shifting thoughts of men.

By the way, Glenn Colley, Cindy’s husband, preaches at the West Huntsville Church of Christ in Huntsville, Alabama. He and I were also classmates and worked together at WFHC  radio many years ago.