Tag Archives: father’s

4 Game Changers for Fathers

Church Bulletin, Family Issues, ,

Fathers_day_father_with_kid_on_lakeFathering is hard work. It’s essential work. And it can be the greatest joy in life. Here are some thoughts to empower your work as a father.

Lead from the Front

In ancient times, a king would ride into battle ahead of his troops. His presence and shared hardships and dangers with his troops earned him great credibility and honor. He was the rallying point for his soldiers who would fight to the death to protect him.

Our cultural battle is just as grave. Fathers must lead their children through the battle lines of an amoral culture. We cannot lead with words alone. Fathers must be seen as committed and dedicated through their actions. We teach through words. We inspire through actions. Fathers must strive to show their devotion to God through everyday actions. Let your children see your dependence on God and your love for Jesus. Let them see you studying the Bible. Let them hear your prayers. Lead!

[bctt tweet=”Fathers must lead their children through the battle lines of an amoral culture.”]

Be Timeless

Every action you take today will resonate throughout future history. Sadly, it’s the failures that are often remembered most. Many scholars hold that Richard Nixon was an excellent President. His victory in the 1972 Presidential election was one of the biggest landslides in U.S. History. Yet, one series of events has tainted him for all history. What would Nixon have given if he could repeat those few crucial hours in the White House?

As you lead your children, remember that you are making memories. Even today, you probably remember stories, good and bad, about your father and grandfather. Your daily life is the foundation of your children’s memories. Remember the powerful words of Proverbs 22:6, “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Every action you take has the potential to form an enduring memory. How do you want to be remembered?

[bctt tweet=” Every action you take has the potential to form an enduring memory. “]

Deliver on Promises

Children are like the proverbial elephants – they remember everything. Choose promises carefully and only after considering your ability to deliver.

In an adult’s mind a promise about a weekend outing that doesn’t pan out is no big deal; it happens. But for the child who has looked forward to a getaway with a hard working dad that broken promise is huge. Don’t promise what you cannot deliver.

Quality and Quantity are Essential

A recent television commercial has a father declaring that he doesn’t get to spend much time with his children so he makes sure that every minute is quality. That’s a nice sentiment, but it doesn’t really hold water. Children need both quality and quantity of your time. [bctt tweet=”Sometimes a child just needs to know you are available.”] The world offers a false dichotomy. You can have quality or quantity but not both. How wrong!

Your job was here before you and will be here after you are gone. Don’t allow your children to pay the price for your absence. Their successes as adults will be remembered more than your advancement.

These tips will energize you, your wife and your children. Try them and you will be convinced of their importance. Your children need you more than you can imagine. Model godly parenting and you will see them reap the benefits.

Bryant Evans may be reached at bryant at bryantevans.com. You can follow Bryant on Twitter @jbevans.

 

The UnFather

1st and 2nd Samuel, Church Bulletin, Family Issues, ,

Paris_psaulter_gr139_fol136vTruly good fathers are uncommon. Most men desire to be exemplary fathers but few succeed. Despite their best attempts all fathers stumble and none are perfect. Failure happens. Hopefully our failures are not catastrophic and we find ways to recover. But failures can discourage. Sometimes a man may be tempted to throw his hands up in despair and surrender. He reasons that there is no sense in trying because he falls so often.

To give up is the greatest failure of all.

“Jehovah hath sought him a man after his own heart” – 1 Samuel 13:14

David was surely one of the great men of Scripture. Samuel speaks of him as a man after God’s own heart. He is appointed king over God’s people. He is an ancestor of Jesus and figures prominently in Peter’s sermon on Pentecost. David is even mentioned in the Hall of Fame of Faith in Hebrews 11. Surely, if anyone was going to be a great man and a perfect father it would David. You might think so but you would be mistaken.

David was the patriarch over one of the most dysfunctional families in the Bible.

Here is what we know about David:

  • He took and committed adultery with the wife of a soldier who was fighting for the nation (2 Samuel 11:3-5).
  • When he heard she was pregnant he tried to cover up his sin (2 Samuel 11:6-18).
  • When his plan failed, he arranged to have the man killed and then took his wife for his own (2 Samuel 11:26-27).
  • David had children by different wives. One of them raped his half-sister, David’s daughter (2 Samuel 13:1 ff).
  • Although David knew of the rape and was angry he did nothing (2 Samuel 13:14, 21, 23).
  • Another son sought vengeance for his sister by murdering the rapist half-brother (2 Samuel 13:23 ff).
  • David did nothing about the rape or the murder. The son fled and David did not seek after him (2 Samuel 13:37-39).
  • The murdering son eventually returns and almost seizes the kingdom from his father. He dies on the process (2 Samuel 15:1 ff, 2 Samuel 18:15).
  • As he lay dying, one of his sons conspired to gain control of the throne (1 Kings 1:5-8).

Every family has its problems but David had a mess. Wickedness ran rampant in the family and much of it can be traced directly to David’s lax fathering. Nevertheless, this is the man called a man after God’s own heart. It was also this man who fathered Solomon, the wisest man ever and the author of Proverbs. David penned the immortal Psalms as he poured his heart out to God.

Our point is simple: Fathering is not about perfection. It is about seeking God with all of your heart, acknowledging failures and moving onward. When David’s sin with Bathsheba was known, he did not try to hide his responsibility nor did he wallow in self-loathing and pity. He accepted responsibility and moved ahead (2 Samuel 12:1-25).

Fathers, you will stumble and you will fail. Each time, your reaction will determine your legacy. Do not give up. Your children need you. They need your example of dedication. The only way you fail is when you give up on them and on God.

 

 Bryant Evans may be reached at bryant at bryantevans.com. You can follow Bryant on Twitter @jbevans.

Legendary Fathers

Church Bulletin, Family Issues, ,

Great fathers are the stuff of legends. Today, more than ever, great fathers are rare. There are many men who bear the title but fewer and fewer are really worthy of being called a legend. At the same time, it seems that many men want to be good fathers but have never learned how. Perhaps they never had an example of a good father in their own lives. We offer some ideas that can take a common man and put him on the road to greatness.

Legendary Fathers are Godly Men

The heroic knights of old were subservient to their king. The vaunted Samurai of the ancient Japanese empires were servants to wealthy landholders and to the Emperor. Today, the very best fathers are men who serve the risen Christ constantly.

Twice, Paul said that “at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow” (Romans 14:11, Philippians 2:10). The Christian father demonstrates his loyalty to Jesus through his daily actions. He shows his love for Christ by placing his love for Him even before that of his family. There is nothing above his commitment to God (Luke 12:46; Matthew 6:33).

When a truly legendary father dies, his children will first declare that he was a “man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14). Do you wish to be a legend? Serve God first.

Legendary Fathers Invest Time in their Children

Much has been said about the difference between quality of time and quantity of time as if you cannot have both. Probably, this idea arose as an excuse for men who spend too much time on the job. The truth is that you can be a legendary father or a legendary worker but you cannot be both. Something must come first (Matthew 6:24).

Because our success in our culture is predicated upon the accumulation of wealth and tangible property, we no longer value as much the priceless accumulation of memories and shared time. What a shame. Understand, reader, wealth is nice but it is not necessary. Paul wrote,

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.  But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.  But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs (1 Timothy 6:6-10).

To invest hours in your children is far superior to investing dollars. The payout is much greater.

Become a legend to your children, Fathers. They need real heroes that can be seen, touched and talked to.

Bryant Evans may be reached at bryant at bryantevans.com. You can follow Bryant on Twitter @jbevans

 

Aspiration

Bible General, Church Bulletin, Culture, Daily living, Family Issues,

“A strong desire, longing or aim; ambition; a goal or objective desired.”

How do men become fathers? Men become fathers through the biological process of sex. But how does one become a daddy? That has nothing at all to do with sex.

One becomes a dad by observing other men already in the role. Hopefully their model is a good one and teaches them sound principles for parenting. I’m convinced that you can’t become a good dad except by observation. That’s a pretty strong statement so let me explain.

CNN reports that over 20 million children will awake this morning without a father in the house. That’s about 1 in 4. Those who are actually “dads” would be far less. Continue reading Aspiration →

Ultimate Father

Bible General, Daily living, Family Issues,

boy in father's clothesIt’s no coincidence that God uses the father role to teach us about our relationship to him. Throughout Scripture God is referred to as our Father and we as his children. Beyond being what some would call an obvious relationship it seems there is some teaching going on as well. Let’s look at some things we learn from that example.

The Heavenly Father Loves Us

John simply tells us that “God is Love” (1 John 4:8, 16). He is the definition of love. When one considers what all is involved in true Biblical love we will see just how important this teaching is. Earthly fathers should love their children.

Someone might say that loving their children is so obvious that it shouldn’t even be in this article. However a lack of love from fathers is plaguing our families and especially our children today. At the most extreme we have AWOL fathers who have abandoned their children. These “menless” males have often engaged in procreation without regard to the beautiful offspring that flow from such quick relationships. Unwilling to step up and meet their responsibilities they have created a nation-within-a-nation of single moms trying to raise fatherless children. These men to learn what love really is.

Other fathers need to be reminded that there is a difference between career and family. Working so many hours that you never see your children is counterproductive to your goal in life. The idea of fathering in absentia is impossible.

God never became too busy for his people. Even when they deserted him he reached out to them and demonstrated immeasurable love for them. Let us learn from God to truly love our children.

The Heavenly Father Guides Us

God has not left us alone to try and figure out where we should go and what we should do. He has taught us the way and given us every means to travel the road to eternity (John 6:45; 1 Thessalonians 4:9; Ephesians 1:3). His word, the Bible, comes from his very lips and teaches us how to live (2 Timothy 3:16).

Our children today are probably among the most brilliant the world has known. Competent to operate computer devices, search the internet for information and use technology far beyond what their parents are capable of, our children are very smart. But intelligence and wisdom often do not cohabitate. Our young people need our wisdom, fathers, and need our guidance to navigate areas of the world where they have never been.

Just as our Father guides us, we need to guide our children.

The Heavenly Father Disciplines Us

God disciplines his people. Whether it was the Israelites who were made to wander for 40 years because of their disbelief (Numbers 14:20ff) or slavery in Babylon (2 Kings 24:10ff), God was bringing discipline and punishment on his people for a purpose.

For all their intelligence our youth are often undisciplined. That charge cannot be laid at their feet however. Many are undisciplined because fathers have not applied the required level of discipline and even punishment that is needed.

No punishment is enjoyable for either the child or the parent. But if we are to properly guide our children we must be willing to bring some authority to what we say. Whatever discomfort we bring now will pay great dividends of peace and security later.

Let us be like our Father who loves us.