Tag Archives: anger

Anger

Church Bulletin, Daily living

The world is an angry place. Reality television shows know that Americans like confrontation. One even features “mama drama” for their Mother’s Day show. Road rage is now normal. Some walk around with an already short fuse burning quickly. The effects of anger are obvious and usually felt bubbling just below the surface. Blood pressure rises, heart rate increase and numerous normal physical impulses are triggered by our anger. No “normal” person enjoys anger but must still deal with its effects daily and sometimes hourly. The Bible teaches about anger and can help us put anger in the right place.

Anger Is Not Sin, But It Can Be

Despite how we may feel, anger is not necessarily sin. Recall that Jesus was angry (Matthew 21:12, 13; Mark 3:1-6; 11:15-19; Luke 19:45, 46). God was indignant (Psalm 7:11; 85:4; Jeremiah 10:10 et al). True enough, the text does not use the word anger to describe Jesus. However, his actions clearly would fit into our definition of anger. Ephesians 4:26 records Paul: “Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger” (c.f. Psalm 4:4).

While anger is not always sin, it can escalate and become sinful. As anger builds, we feel self-control slipping away. Anger almost always comes before violence. Throttle anger before it turns evil. Scriptures on point include (Galatians 5:20; Ephesians 4:31; Colossians 3:8; 1 Timothy 2:8).

What Do I Do?

Assuming that no one likes to be angry, we offer five tips to quell anger before it becomes sin.

Eliminate the Source

Sometimes, the best cure is to walk away from the source of your anger. This is a Biblical precept found in Romans 12:18: If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”  Notice that it may not be possible to live in peace with some. If possible, exclude those who anger you.

Reverse the Roles

The other person is angry for some reason. Something happened. Given that we usually do not know the precipitating event let us assume the best and treat them with the grace we would desire for ourselves. This too is Biblical. It is the Golden Rule of Matthew 7:12.

Slow Down

The world is busy, and often we skip the niceties and go straight to the point. This may produce increased efficiency but at the cost of kindness. Slow down, listen to the other person, and digest the content and the intent of what they are actually saying. Past generations encouraged others to count to 10 before responding. That is a good idea.

Turn Inward

Maybe you are the problem. We tend to blame others for problems, but we should consider that we may be at fault. Are our words harsh? Are we demanding? Do we transfer our anger from one person to another? Consider self.

Pray

If you have an anger problem, begin now to pray about it. Do not stop praying; be in persistent prayer over your problem, and God will help. We discount prayer in our modern, tech-driven, science-worshiping world. We ought not. Pray works when all else fails.

Let us pursue the good goal of joy, happiness, peace, and kindness in our lives (Galatians 5:22-23). Constant anger is not the place for a child of God.

Bryant Evans may be reached at bryant at bryantevans.com. You can follow Bryant on Twitter @J_Bryant_Evans.

 

Words

Church Bulletin, Culture, Daily living, Government, News, ,

Two families in New York City are grappling with the power of words this morning. For the past few weeks citizens have been protesting police actions which resulted in the deaths of black men.  Sometimes those protests turned nasty and resulted in looting and lawlessness on a grand scale. The message portrayed in the media was often one of anger and even hatred for police and law enforcement officials. Now two officers are dead as a direct result of the protesters chants and actions.

Words are the tools we use to convey ideas. The abstract concepts in our head must be formed into words so that we can communicate with others. The only way you can know what I am thinking is if I tell you my thoughts. Even my actions may be misleading. But clear words allow you to understand my thinking.

“Angry words, O let them never from the tongue unbridled slip”

The old hymn “Angry Words” was penned by Horatio Palmer and appeared first in a hymnal around 1860. Palmer, a musician best known for “Yield not to Temptation,” understood the power of the spoken word.

Canadian Educator Laurence Peter opined “speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.”

Chinese philosopher Confucius offered, “When anger rises, think of the consequences.”

All are good and noble thoughts but the Bible is far better.

“A hot tempered man stirs up strife but he who is slow to anger quiets contention” (Proverbs 15:18).

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11)

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19, 20)

“it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person” (Matthew 15:11)

“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” (James 1:26)

And one more, with a warning:

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:36)

The events of the last few weeks seem so far away from the Eastern Shore. Ferguson, Missouri and New York City are places that usually have little impact on our lives. But words are not weakened by distance. Let us heed Biblical guidance on our speech and emotions. Let us be people who speak graciously and mercifully. Let our voice be that of our Lord. For just a words can have disastrous consequences they can also produce joy, peace and happiness. How will you use your words today?

 

Walk Away – Defuse an Argument

Daily living, Family Issues,

The best way to clean up after an explosion is to prevent it from happening. It’s true in the physical world and in the home. If you can stop the bomb from exploding you will be in much better shape. Sometimes the best way to prevent a painful destructive argument is to prevent it from happening in the first place. This article offers a way to keep peace in the family.

Arguments Happen

No matter how strong the marriage, arguments happen. Each person has his and her own ideas, goals and plans. Invariably those plans will sometimes clash. How we handle those clashing moments is critical to the peace and tranquility of the family.

Young people often enter marriage thinking that love will conquer all. True love does. But it may take a while before we can fully reach that stage of a relationship. Love is not a feeling but decision. Specifically it is giving our best to an imperfect person even when that person does not give it back. It’s the kind of love that Christ has for all men.

There are times when we just don’t get a long. Prepare for those times and you will enjoy a better outcome.

Defuse the Argument

There are times when it is best to let things quieten down a bit and then resume a discussion instead of an argument. Continue reading Walk Away – Defuse an Argument →

Fresh Air at 32,800 Feet

Culture,

We earlier wrote about [cref 96 Keith Walendowski] who shot and killed his lawn mower while drunk. We also now learn of two 20-something women on a flight from Greece to Engalnd who became drunk. CNN is reporting that the flight attendants declined to serve them alcohol because they appeared drunk. One of the women took a swing at the attendant with a bottle of Vodka and then tried to open the cabin door for some fresh air. The plane made an emergency landing in Frankfurt and the women were briefly detained and could face additional charges.

Again, the link between drunkeness and dangerous anger should not be overlooked.  Most of us can act foolish and silly with no help from Vodka but it sure goes a long way toward helping doesn’t it?

Lawn Boy – DOA

Culture,

Keith Walendowski knows frustration. The same frustration many of us have known when we can’t get the lawnmower to start. Walendowski was so angry — and so drunk — that he went back in the house, got a sawed-off shotgun and blasted the Lawn Boy into eternity (or wherever dead lawn mowers go). CNN reports that he was promptly arrested but not for shooting the mower. It seems the shotgun was a tad too short and violated gun laws.

Now, we can laugh at the poor fellow with his snout full of booze, but there is a lesson here about anger and about drunkenness, don’t you think?