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4 Game Changers for Fathers

Church Bulletin, Family Issues, ,

Fathers_day_father_with_kid_on_lakeFathering is hard work. It’s essential work. And it can be the greatest joy in life. Here are some thoughts to empower your work as a father.

Lead from the Front

In ancient times, a king would ride into battle ahead of his troops. His presence and shared hardships and dangers with his troops earned him great credibility and honor. He was the rallying point for his soldiers who would fight to the death to protect him.

Our cultural battle is just as grave. Fathers must lead their children through the battle lines of an amoral culture. We cannot lead with words alone. Fathers must be seen as committed and dedicated through their actions. We teach through words. We inspire through actions. Fathers must strive to show their devotion to God through everyday actions. Let your children see your dependence on God and your love for Jesus. Let them see you studying the Bible. Let them hear your prayers. Lead!

[bctt tweet=”Fathers must lead their children through the battle lines of an amoral culture.”]

Be Timeless

Every action you take today will resonate throughout future history. Sadly, it’s the failures that are often remembered most. Many scholars hold that Richard Nixon was an excellent President. His victory in the 1972 Presidential election was one of the biggest landslides in U.S. History. Yet, one series of events has tainted him for all history. What would Nixon have given if he could repeat those few crucial hours in the White House?

As you lead your children, remember that you are making memories. Even today, you probably remember stories, good and bad, about your father and grandfather. Your daily life is the foundation of your children’s memories. Remember the powerful words of Proverbs 22:6, “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Every action you take has the potential to form an enduring memory. How do you want to be remembered?

[bctt tweet=” Every action you take has the potential to form an enduring memory. “]

Deliver on Promises

Children are like the proverbial elephants – they remember everything. Choose promises carefully and only after considering your ability to deliver.

In an adult’s mind a promise about a weekend outing that doesn’t pan out is no big deal; it happens. But for the child who has looked forward to a getaway with a hard working dad that broken promise is huge. Don’t promise what you cannot deliver.

Quality and Quantity are Essential

A recent television commercial has a father declaring that he doesn’t get to spend much time with his children so he makes sure that every minute is quality. That’s a nice sentiment, but it doesn’t really hold water. Children need both quality and quantity of your time. [bctt tweet=”Sometimes a child just needs to know you are available.”] The world offers a false dichotomy. You can have quality or quantity but not both. How wrong!

Your job was here before you and will be here after you are gone. Don’t allow your children to pay the price for your absence. Their successes as adults will be remembered more than your advancement.

These tips will energize you, your wife and your children. Try them and you will be convinced of their importance. Your children need you more than you can imagine. Model godly parenting and you will see them reap the benefits.

Bryant Evans may be reached at bryant at bryantevans.com. You can follow Bryant on Twitter @jbevans.

 

What Makes a Mom

Church Bulletin, Family Issues,

If you were asked this week, “What makes a mom” what would you say? Scientifically you might reply that a mom is a female who has given birth to at least one child. Legally you might respond that a mother is a female that has been given the legal responsibility to care for, guide and discipline a youngster. But most of us would agree that a mom is far more than a textbook definition. Consider the following “mom-makers” and see if you agree.

  • A Mom is the one who changed your stinky diaper all the while telling you that you were the most wonderful gift from God.
  • A Mom is the one who fed you your earliest meals and sometimes ended up with more on herself than in your belly.
  • A Mom is the one who spent almost as much time with you overnight as she did when you were awake.
  • A Mom is the one whose gentle voice in your ear worked almost as well as medicine.
  • A Mom is the one who watched with tears of happiness and sadness together as you walked into school on the very first day.
  • A Mom is the one who, with toothbrush and a bar of soap in hand, warned you about repeating “dirty words.”
  • A Mom is the one who became an expert on fields from English to Science, Social Studies and Math so you could get good grades in school.
  • A Mom is the one who gave up her plans so that you could be at the library, the ball park or at a sleep-over.
  • A Mom is the one who surrendered her sleep so that you could stay up all night when your friends came for a spend-the-night party. You slept all day the next day while she cleaned up.
  • A Mom is the one with just the right words when you first realized what a “clique” was and that you were not in it.
  • A Mom is the one who helped you get ready for that first date even though you said you didn’t need any help.
  • A Mom is  the one who always understood what a jerk your boyfriend/girlfriend was when they broke up with you.
  • A Mom is one who got that stain out of your favorite shirt which was caused by your favorite food.
  • A Mom is the one who went to work outside the home so you could have nicer things like an education.
  • A Mom, for the girls, was the first one to stand when you came down the aisle on your wedding day.
  • A Mom is the one who found a way for you to have just the right brand of shoes. Odd how hers were often so worn out don’t you think?

We could go on and on but you get the picture. Motherhood is not at all about biology or law. It’s about love, devotion and sacrifice. We thank all our moms for all they have done for us. Enjoy your day and let us do the work.

A Message for Fathers

Family Issues,

I worry about the state of the American home. It is rapidly dissolving in a sea of self-centered greed and selfishness. Men are leaving the home to find greener pastures (read that: affairs) and many women are following right behind them. Others are so busy trying to make another dollar that they forget the single most critical task  they have which is to save their families by pointing them to Jesus Christ.

It is a profound crisis that now affects our families and if not stopped it will ruin our children. Children tend to repeat what they learn at home. Such creates an ongoing cycle of dysfunction which is difficult if not impossible to break.

Dale Sadler is a counselor we point you to from time to time. Please read his post How an absent father affects his children. At the very least it should give you pause and cause you to think. When you finish, go hug your children!