Category Archives: Family Issues

Aspiration

Bible General, Church Bulletin, Culture, Daily living, Family Issues,

“A strong desire, longing or aim; ambition; a goal or objective desired.”

How do men become fathers? Men become fathers through the biological process of sex. But how does one become a daddy? That has nothing at all to do with sex.

One becomes a dad by observing other men already in the role. Hopefully their model is a good one and teaches them sound principles for parenting. I’m convinced that you can’t become a good dad except by observation. That’s a pretty strong statement so let me explain.

CNN reports that over 20 million children will awake this morning without a father in the house. That’s about 1 in 4. Those who are actually “dads” would be far less. Continue reading Aspiration →

Marriages Are Lasting Longer

Family Issues,

By Jeff Belmonte from Cuiabá, Brazil (Flickr) [CC-BY-2.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsThere is good news on the marriage front. A new U.S. Census report shows that the number of long lasting marriages is up. People are staying together longer. The Washington Post studied the census report and offered some analysis.

“Three in four couples who married after 1990 celebrated a 10-year anniversary, according to census statistics reported Wednesday. That was a rise of three percentage points compared with couples who married in the early 1980s, when the nation’s divorce rate was at its highest.”

This is good news for families and especially good news for children who profit from strong and stable homes. Divorce is a reality and sometimes even a necessity but it always piles turmoil and upheaval upon all members of the family. Most would agree that the children are most vulnerable. Continue reading Marriages Are Lasting Longer →

Bible Class and School

Daily living, Family Issues,

School attendance is important. It’s so important that it is legally mandatory in most states. For most of us we would never consider letting children miss school. We get them there, demand a thorough education and support the teachers by requiring homework to be completed and turned in. That’s good. We should. But some have a different opinion about Sunday school and Bible classes. Children are allowed to decide for themselves if they want to go. We aren’t too concerned if they miss a class or two and almost never encourage them to do their Sunday School homework. I think we we  make a mistake.

The Bible says we are to teach constantly. Speaking to the Israelites God said:

“You shall teach them diligently to your children, you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hands and  they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:7-9; Deuteronomy 11:19)

David understood the importance of knowing God’s word:

“Teach me your way O Lord, that I may walk in your truth…” (Psalm 86:11)

One cannot know what he is not taught. If he is not taught at home who will teach him? Can we agree that presence in Bible class is important? Tell me, if your 5th or 6th grader announced one morning that he just didn’t want to go to school anymore would you accept that? Would you allow him to remain home without teaching? No one wants to raise a child of ignorance nor should we. Why then would we raise a child who is ignorant of the greatest book ever written? What if your child announced that he was not going to bathe anymore? Acceptable? Certainly not. Children are compelled to do certain things. Parents are expect to ensure their child is educated and that their hygienic needs are met. So what do we struggle with Bible class and worship?

Perhaps we know that requiring our children attend Bible class reflects upon our own absenteeism. Does their absence bring a twinge of hypocritical guilt? Resolve now to “train up a child in the way that he should go” (Proverbs 22:6) and you will not be disappointed.

Walk Away – Defuse an Argument

Daily living, Family Issues,

The best way to clean up after an explosion is to prevent it from happening. It’s true in the physical world and in the home. If you can stop the bomb from exploding you will be in much better shape. Sometimes the best way to prevent a painful destructive argument is to prevent it from happening in the first place. This article offers a way to keep peace in the family.

Arguments Happen

No matter how strong the marriage, arguments happen. Each person has his and her own ideas, goals and plans. Invariably those plans will sometimes clash. How we handle those clashing moments is critical to the peace and tranquility of the family.

Young people often enter marriage thinking that love will conquer all. True love does. But it may take a while before we can fully reach that stage of a relationship. Love is not a feeling but decision. Specifically it is giving our best to an imperfect person even when that person does not give it back. It’s the kind of love that Christ has for all men.

There are times when we just don’t get a long. Prepare for those times and you will enjoy a better outcome.

Defuse the Argument

There are times when it is best to let things quieten down a bit and then resume a discussion instead of an argument. Continue reading Walk Away – Defuse an Argument →

Love Locks

Family Issues,

Here’s a cute story that I came across. It’s about a place in Serbia where young women take their romantic commitments very seriously. I’ll let you read the story and view the pictures about the Bridge of Love. I do wonder what would happen if people in our country tool love as seriously as these seem to. I think that instead of padlocks we use thread.

Father’s Are Needed

Bible General, Family Issues, Homosexuality,

I awoke Sunday morning to an awful set of articles that were published on Father’s Day and which bashed and smashed fatherhood in general. First came a story in the Washington Post about a father, suffering with cancer, trying to ensure his daughters are well cared for by a team of Dads who will carry on after his death. It’s a touching story of a Dad who loves his daughters and is doing all he can to provide for their future. But oddly he began his story, and overshadowed it, by telling us that Dads are, according to the science-gods, not that important.

He bases his conclusions on a report this month from the magazine Atlantic. Author Pamela Paul ((Paul authored Pornified, a book I have praised and used in our series here on pornography.)) wrote Are Fathers Necessary? for the July/August 2010 edition of the popular magazine. Paul based her article on a study, 6 months old and previously released, published in the scholarly Journal of Marriage and Family.

Now here’s the gist of the study: There is no scientific proof that children need both a father and a mother. Two homosexual women are just as good, better if  you read closely, than a heterosexual couple. By extension, it seems the same could be said about two homosexual men verses a heterosexual couple. The study, which supposedly bashes men, actually does not. It attacks traditional, heterosexual parenting! Continue reading Father’s Are Needed →

What Makes a Mom

Church Bulletin, Family Issues,

If you were asked this week, “What makes a mom” what would you say? Scientifically you might reply that a mom is a female who has given birth to at least one child. Legally you might respond that a mother is a female that has been given the legal responsibility to care for, guide and discipline a youngster. But most of us would agree that a mom is far more than a textbook definition. Consider the following “mom-makers” and see if you agree.

  • A Mom is the one who changed your stinky diaper all the while telling you that you were the most wonderful gift from God.
  • A Mom is the one who fed you your earliest meals and sometimes ended up with more on herself than in your belly.
  • A Mom is the one who spent almost as much time with you overnight as she did when you were awake.
  • A Mom is the one whose gentle voice in your ear worked almost as well as medicine.
  • A Mom is the one who watched with tears of happiness and sadness together as you walked into school on the very first day.
  • A Mom is the one who, with toothbrush and a bar of soap in hand, warned you about repeating “dirty words.”
  • A Mom is the one who became an expert on fields from English to Science, Social Studies and Math so you could get good grades in school.
  • A Mom is the one who gave up her plans so that you could be at the library, the ball park or at a sleep-over.
  • A Mom is the one who surrendered her sleep so that you could stay up all night when your friends came for a spend-the-night party. You slept all day the next day while she cleaned up.
  • A Mom is the one with just the right words when you first realized what a “clique” was and that you were not in it.
  • A Mom is the one who helped you get ready for that first date even though you said you didn’t need any help.
  • A Mom is  the one who always understood what a jerk your boyfriend/girlfriend was when they broke up with you.
  • A Mom is one who got that stain out of your favorite shirt which was caused by your favorite food.
  • A Mom is the one who went to work outside the home so you could have nicer things like an education.
  • A Mom, for the girls, was the first one to stand when you came down the aisle on your wedding day.
  • A Mom is the one who found a way for you to have just the right brand of shoes. Odd how hers were often so worn out don’t you think?

We could go on and on but you get the picture. Motherhood is not at all about biology or law. It’s about love, devotion and sacrifice. We thank all our moms for all they have done for us. Enjoy your day and let us do the work.

Smoothing the Edges: An Approach to Marital Peace

Church Bulletin, Family Issues,

Life is a challenge. Married life is a big challenge. A man and a woman come together with lofty and noble intents. Surrounded by love they make long term commitments and set off on a journey of unity. For most, all goes very well, at least for the first several weeks. Then something doesn’t go as planned. Trouble brews and boils over into an argument. Suddenly a young couple is fighting. Now the true level of commitment is discovered. Some will run screaming from the marriage while others will stay and resolve the dispute.

Oddly, commitment in marriage really doesn’t mean anything until there is conflict. When things are good, no one wants to leave. Only when issues arise do people begin to think of leaving. Some have suggested that the key to a long marriage is the ability to resolve disputes effectively. Here are some suggestions.

Continue reading Smoothing the Edges: An Approach to Marital Peace →

Teen Pregnancy

Abortion, Family Issues, Youth,

There is troubling news today about teen pregnancies and the rate of abortion. A new report suggests a rise in pregnancies and abortions although the long term trend remains downward. I’ll let you read it for yourself at TIME.COM. But we should be reminded that we all need to remain vigilant and maintain open lines of communication with our young boys and girls.

The answer to abortions is not legislation but solid moral training at home. Parents who wait for the schools or the churches to teach their children about sex make a profound error. It is the job of parents to teach children the all important facts of life. Parents must step up and teach their children.

When pregnancies do occur let us use compassion and love to help the young people make wise, Godly decisions. We must give them the tools and options which allow them to carry their children to term and we must encourage them to draw near to God who gives comfort as no other.

What are your thoughts?

A Message for Fathers

Family Issues,

I worry about the state of the American home. It is rapidly dissolving in a sea of self-centered greed and selfishness. Men are leaving the home to find greener pastures (read that: affairs) and many women are following right behind them. Others are so busy trying to make another dollar that they forget the single most critical task  they have which is to save their families by pointing them to Jesus Christ.

It is a profound crisis that now affects our families and if not stopped it will ruin our children. Children tend to repeat what they learn at home. Such creates an ongoing cycle of dysfunction which is difficult if not impossible to break.

Dale Sadler is a counselor we point you to from time to time. Please read his post How an absent father affects his children. At the very least it should give you pause and cause you to think. When you finish, go hug your children!